It’s Ok to Not Be Okay

Often times we move around not acknowledging how we feel. When someone whether a love one or friend asks how are you? We immediately say I’m ok or I’m good. From personal experience, it’s an automatic response and it’s mostly an automatic question after greeting someone. To me it feels like a societal expectation and we expect a cheery happy response in return. But the truth is, we AREN’T ok or happy all the time.

A few years ago, I realized my auto response of ”i’m ok” and thought to myself why? I think we genuinely don’t know how we feel or take the time to sit with ourselves to process our feelings. There’s often times I’m unsure how I feel and it’s because I’m just ripping and running and going with the ebbs and flows of life. 

On the other end I think we don’t want to be vulnerable and let people know that we’re not OK.  More recently I’ve noticed we avoid saying how and what we truly feel out of being worried about making other people uncomfortable.  I came to this thinking about how I freely speak about race and being a female in a predominantly white male industry. I see how sometimes they visibly look uncomfortable in their body language from me just speaking honestly. I recognize because it’s the response is unexpected and they don’t know how to respond. I don’t expect a response nor is one always needed. A simple “ok” suffices. And to voice what we all are thinking and won’t say, there’s nothing the person on the end can do about it. 

I get we want to present ourselves a certain way or light, but you can and still be your authentic self. I believe in leaving my problems at home and not letting it interfere with business and my obligations, but I don’t move around phony. If I’m not feeling well and/or am not my jolly cheerful self, I keep to myself and if asked I simply say “I’m not feeling my best today”. I’m able to be honest about how I feel and not give away details.  I truthfully don’t think too much about it or overthink how I will be perceived or how someone will respond.

So know it’s okay not to be okay and you can express that outwardly instead of suppressing how you truly free. We have to normalize everything isn’t always rosy and sometimes we feel shitty. Earlier this week, I was moody and didn’t feel ok. So I acknowledged how I felt and allowed myself to feel it. Why? Because I know it’s temporary and it’s a part of life. And if I ever feel like it’s becoming too much, I know to seek help and reach out my village for support.

So I challenge you to be more comfortable with how you feel and feel empowered in sharing that.

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