Hear Me Roar!

When you feel that you need to speak up, you instinctively feel that a boundary or value that you hold has been violated.

So, it’s important to understand what are your boundaries, values, and comfort level.

If we’ve repeatedly had negative experiences around advocating for ourselves or social acceptance, we’re less likely to feel safe speaking up.

  • Childhood experiences
  • Past traumatic experiences when speaking up
  • Gender differences
  • Fear of retaliation
  • Concern for what others think

Are all reasons that make us hesitant or even keep us from speaking up.

Understanding and acknowledging your personal boundaries is a crucial aspect of effective communication. It’ll serve as the compass guiding you through social interactions, helping you decide when to speak up and when to stay silent. So it’s important to look within and self reflect to identify your boundaries.

You start by reflecting on your values, beliefs, and comfort levels. What are the topics or situations that make you uneasy or hesitant to express your thoughts? Recognizing these areas allows you to establish clear boundaries, creating a foundation for authentic communication. Again, when you feel you need to speak it, it’s likely a boundary has been crossed so you need to be able to recognize it. 

Digging into the role that fear plays, it may be the fear of judgment, confrontation, or rejection. To overcome this fear, it's essential to understand that your perspective is valid and deserves to be heard. Embrace the discomfort as a part of personal growth, recognizing that speaking up is a powerful tool for self-expression. There’s that old saying, closes mouth don’t get feed and that applies when you feel crossed.

This could be territory that makes you uncomfortable, so practice assertiveness without aggression. Be confident in expressing your opinions while remaining open to different viewpoints. We’ve all been in those conversations or have heard discussions when people aren’t actively listening and/or ignore trying to see the point from the other person’s perspective and that’s disappointing and non-productive. As I’ve communicated before, I’m all about protecting peace. When I’m faced with situations as such, I say, let’s agree to disagree instead of going back and forth but’s clear the other person isn’t open for healthy & fair communication. There are times when I slip up and engage but at some point, I always catch myself especially I become irritated or angry.

Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the situation if needed after you’ve spoken up for yourself or attempted to speak up for yourself. Your well-being and authenticity should never be sacrificed for the sake of avoiding discomfort. I am team ”protect your peace at all costs“. 

There will always be the social threat we’ll have to choose between being accepted by our peers, family, friends, loved ones and what we personally find unacceptable, but that’s were your courage and strength shines through for you to take a stance and speak up for yourself. Understand that you and your feelings are important, are valid and deserve to be heard. 

Would you rather be uncomfortable speaking up or miserable living a lie and allowing others to walk over or take advantage?

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